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by apricotcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean is sad, M/M, Post 12.23, everyones sad honestly, how do tag, there isnt anything explicit its just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 04:11:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apricotcas/pseuds/apricotcas
Summary: ????? my shower radio broke so i had too much time to think and my brain betrayed me and thats how we got here.i'm uuhhhh sure there are some plot holes here but nothing too distracting i hope!!





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It was a full twenty-four hours before Dean finally cracked. Sam, speaking hesitantly, kept coming outside to tell him how it'd be easier to get it over with. Jack was getting restless, desperate to explore, and the rations in the small cabin wouldn't last them very long. When Sam came back outside once again, Dean managed to slowly nod his head. 

The two men carried Castiel to a clearing east of the cabin. Sam had set up the pyre that morning, unable to succumb to sleep. They gently lowered Cas onto the wooden slab. Sam, eyes glassy, arranged the old trenchcoat, smoothed out the wrinkles. Dean couldn't look at Cas' face. He wasn't brave enough. He stumbled a few steps backwards, hearing as Sam exhaled and said a few words, his head bowed over the body. Moments later, he joined Dean a few paces back. Sam pulled a lighter from his jacket pocket and handed it to his brother, but Dean pushed it away. He kept his eyes focused on the ground, and muttered out "You .. you do it. Just. Do it." Dean could hear Sam swallow deeply, and turn back towards the pyre, the setting sun painting gaunt shadows over his face. 

Hours later, Dean brought up his third bucket of lake water and extinguised the dying flame. Exhaustion finally catching up to him, he dragged himself to the nearest tree and collapsed at the base. He was numb. Sam was inside, probably getting some rest himself. Jack was doing God knows what. Mom, Mom was gone. Stuck with Lucifer in a world unknown. And Cas-.

He tilted his head upward, and watched the last vestiges of smoke rise towards the night sky. This far from the city, the constellations were on full display. Just 3 weeks ago. 3 weeks. On the top of the bunker. Beer in his hand, legs stretched out in front of him, he had listened to Cas ramble about the stars. Dean had zoned out after a while, content to let the rumble of Cas' voice roll through him. Cas gently nudged his shoulder with his own to bring him back, a hint of a smile on his face. They had planned to go camping. Maybe - maybe even without Sam. Cas would point out Andromeda, and Orion. They'd roast marshmallows. They'd get away from the job, just for a few nights. They were going to go camping. 

Head leaned back against the tree bark, mind in a daze, Dean's attention was caught by a small glow in the sky. He managed to spot the tail end of a star darting by. He swore it glowed a faint blue. 

The air was still. He could hear the waves wash against the coast. Dean took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> i am .............................................................. a writer (im not).
> 
> thx for reading, i apologize, have a great day


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